In a world fixated on connection, the least looked after relationship and arguably the most important, is the one with ourselves. Our connection with ourself needs constant work and whilst therapy is the optimum tool to getting to know yourself, it’s often unaffordable. If you have serious mental health issues and are dealing with trauma, check out the links for the UK below:
I tried journaling years ago and decided it something that just wasn’t for me. I’m not talking about the whole ‘Dearest Diary, today I went for a walk and watched 10 episodes on Netflix’. I’m talking about deep analysis… Something like, ‘Dearest Diary, when I was younger, I had a lot of pressure put on me by my parents to be perfect, that now it presents itself as fear of failure and self sabotage.’ Yeh, that deep rooted, uncomfortable self analysis.
I’ve been journaling everyday for nearly 2 months, still on that new year new me thing, and it’s constant revelations! I feel myself getting lighter and lighter. There’s even lingo for journaling, like the term shadow work which basically means looking at the parts of yourself that you’re ashamed of, it’s your shadow, your dark side. You then start unpacking; why do I do this? why do I get so defensive when I talk about this topic? why do I hate that person so much? Why? Why? Why?! You just keep asking why until you get to the bottom of it. And the bottom? A memory of something that perhaps happened when you were 5 years old. Shadow work can include a moment that happened yesterday when you caused a fight with someone for no reason or even just as simple as asking yourself why you had such a strong emotional reaction over something so menial. The best part is it can help you let go, it’s like putting out a fire you didn’t even know was burning inside you. I have memories that just pop up in my head and make me cringe every now and then, why did I do that 10 years ago? I journal, I forgive myself, I understand that I was younger then and I have now changed.
If you’re wanting real change, you’re dedicated to self improvement and being in control of your self talk, like any goal you need to make it a habit. What makes a habit a habit? Repetition. I recommend a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear, it’s a great place to start when you want to create any lasting change in your life, like working out more, meditating or journaling! If I have learnt this much about myself in just 2 months, I’m going to be a completely new person at the end of this year, in a good way of course!
See you on the flip side x